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Sloshing Through an Ultrasound

 
 I get an uncontrollable urge to use the washroom whenever someone mentions
 'ultrasound'.
 
 There are times a person should follow her instinct rather than instructions.
 "Drink eight glasses of water an hour before your appointment," were my
 instructions.  Eight glasses seemed an awful lot.  One glass of any liquid is
 usually enough for three trips to the washroom.  But I always follow
 directions, so eight glasses it was.  For good measure I had eight tall glasses.
 
 Being pregnant is one thing, being pregnant with eight glasses of water in
 you belly is something completely different.  I was sure everyone could hear
 my belly slosh when I walked into the waiting room.
 
 Everything went deceivingly smooth.  The wait wasn't too long.  Soon I was
 ushered into the examining room.  The technician explained the procedure.
 My belly was jellied.  We were ready to see my baby.  Then the power quit.
 
 A bubbly nurse entered the room and cheerfully announced there was a
 power failure through the entire neighborhood.  Both the nurse and the
 technician were delighted to assure me this had never happened before.
 
 The room was stifling hot without air conditioning.  The gooey mess on my
 belly started dripping down my sides.  "It won't be much longer," the nurse
 kept telling me.  More than half an hour passed.  The same phrase kept
 going through my head--Gotta go, gotta go, gotta go.
 
 Finally the silence was broken as the machinery whirred to life.  Sighs of
 relief and the technician started running her special pencil across my belly.
 Then the power went off again.  I was ready to leave.
 
 Fortunately minutes later the power came back on.  By now the pressure of
 the pencil brought tears to my eyes.  The technician explained what we saw
 on the screen.  The first image of my daughter was blurred by one thought--
 Gotta go real bad.
 
 Now we fast-forward twenty years.  My eyes glaze over as my doctor tells
 me I need an ultrasound.  And since it is in the same building she will book
 a mammogram at the same time.  However, she assures me, she will book
 the ultrasound first, "because you have to drink eight glasses of water and
 you may get a little uncomfortable".  I just smile and nod.
 
 I am smarter this time; I only drink six glasses.  I arrive for my appointment
 on time, only to be told the previous appointment was late and there will be a
 delay.  A feeling of déjá vu comes over me when the nurse says they are
 sending me for my mammogram first. 
 
 With a heavy heart and a sloshing belly I enter the full waiting room.  Before
 long I feel that familiar pressure building up.  And then I face the demon
 machine.
 
 I don't know which is worse--the excruciating pain of someone trying to make
 pancakes out of my boobs, or the feeling my bladder is going to burst.
 "You'll have to stand still," the technician tells me.  I am tempted to pee on
 her floor so she'll stop squishing my boobs.
 
 After what seems an eternity I am in the ultrasound examining room.
 Gotta go, gotta go, gotta go real bad... keeps going through my head again.
 As the technician gets ready to jelly my belly, I jump off the table.  I can't
 wait any longer.  The technician gives me a tiny cup and tells me I can relieve
 myself that much.  I look at her, then the cup in disbelief.  But miracles
 are possible when you are desperate.  In no time my exam is finished.
 
 I just pray I won't need another ultrasound any time soon.  I can't imagine
 what else could go wrong.  In the meantime, well....I really gotta go!
 

                                                              Marion de Man                       

*****

 

 

Disclaimer

June 16, 2003
Copyright / Design By
Marion de Man

 
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